I have written the worst paper I've ever written and the worst paper I'll ever write. I could list the things that went wrong on it, but they would make you cringe, then cry. And that would be mean of me to make you cringe, or cry. No I won't list them. It's too embarrasing. No. Fine, I will:

1. Too short (by more than half).
2. Blue ink.
3. Printer messed up making somewords almost illegible.
   
4. We had an assigned title--I used my own.
5. I forgot to attach the works cited page.
6. I'm pretty sure I accidently copied down the wrong page # once or twice for the in-texts.
7. It was a bad thesis in the first place.

I'm sorry, here's a napkin.